Watching a youth sporting contest can bring out the best and the worst in people. Actions at games, from fans, can range from showing no emotion, to physically assaulting another parent, coach, or referee. Surprisingly enough these actions have occurred. For those that are relaxed in nature, watching the above unfold, can seem unimaginable.
How can a person with a short fuse, keep his/her composure, at a sporting event? When their son isn't performing, or even playing much, their patience can fade. When the refs are calling a bad game (as seen in their eyes), the steam can build on the inside. And then like a volcano, they erupt, and do the unimaginable.
Unfortunately the ones hurt the most, are the youth. Usually they are there to have fun with their friends. The actions of their parents, speak louder than words. When a parent misbehaves, the child represses their feelings. In the long run, the child can become just like the parent, envious, inpatient, unforgiving, and short tempered.
In my life, I have witnessed these events occur as early as kindergarten soccer. As a basketball referee I have seen fans behaving badly. In one situation, a wife of a player couldn't contain herself. She had a sharp tongue. When asked to be quiet she became offended, and after the game she got her husband involved. The husband had to be constrained, as he tried to physically assault us. He told us that "no one ever talks to her wife like that".
Last year in a youth football game, I watched as our fans tossed vulgarities toward the refs, at the end of the game. We had lost fair and square, but one parent became uncontrollable. The cops had to be called, as the situation rose to an alarming level. Unfortunately the kids learned a lot that day on how to treat a ref, and how to use the "F" bomb. The feelings felt inside our children, when witnessing these actions, can lead to a loss of love for the game. Here is a video about parents misbehaving.
And lastly, in a fifth grade basketball league last year, a referee was punched, and two parents fought each other, in separate games, on the same day. This has led to coaches having to take sportsmanship training, and holding parent meetings on how to behave.
Here are some suggestions, that may help every parent as they watch a game. Do not allow winning, to overshadow the growth that is taking place in your child. Being positive to your child and others, brings about good feelings and a desire to be better. A good percentage of positives to negatives is ten positives, to one negative. As hard as it may be to grasp, positive encouragement is what leads to motivation, and ultimately success.
Most children are not destined to major league success, or even junior high success. By keeping this in mind you can help your child find his/her talents, without pushing your desires upon them.
Having the abundance mentality, versus the scarcity mentality, leads to a "win all" for everyone. With the abundance mentality in play, you will cheer even the opposing team. You will want everyone to achieve their goals. And in the end this will only help your child. On the other hand, those that have the scarcity mentality, secretly hope that everyone will fail but their own. This mentality has it roots embedded in envy, jealousy, and even hatred toward others.
Sports allows your child to grow in ways they otherwise couldn't. Discipline, motivation, consistency, team work, a sense of accomplishment and worth, can all be obtained on the playing field. It is essential that we as spectators, allow these attributes to build inside our children, without interfering. True sportsmanship will allow these attributes to grow, and develop. In the end your child will become polished like a rough stone, and will be ready to take care of his/her own family.
